July 2012
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cosmo tip #286
expertcosmotips:
take ur sexy striptease a step further by peeling all ur flesh off
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June 2012
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coffeeandklonopin:
carpe diem - seize the day
carpe noctem - seize the night
carpe natibus - seize the ass
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wizcoylifa:
“wanna see my rock collection?” i open my closet and several clones of dwayne johnson come running out. i hand my friend the extra tranquilizer gun under my bed, “the hunt is on”.
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sskeeze:
I wonder if Adele’s baby was planned or if it just turned up out of the blue uninvited
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voteschneider:
if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge
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payday-parade:
plot twist: he’s actually having a gay affair with Jake from State Farm.
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wwiao:
95 percent of self esteem issues are caused by the iphones front camera
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